I Will Be

Dec. 30, 2013

by Bob Farrell
I'm Not There Yet

Whew. The collective sigh that comes every year after Christmas.

We hustle-bustle all through the month of December: buying gifts, running to and fro, traveling to relatives. Christmas morning comes, the unwrapping frenzy, dinner with family and friends.

Then a pronounced calm seems to hover—for about a week, till it’s back to our work and school and pressure-cooker lives. We slowww down and take a big breath.

And it’s during this lull that many of us participate in another of our collective holidays rituals: New Years Resolutions.

“I need to lose weight. I’m going to quit smoking. I’m going back to school and changing my career direction. I’m finishing that book manuscript I started 5 years ago (oops). I’m...”

Yeah, just fill in the blank.

And I’m not here to bash that tradition. I do it myself—have done for years. Nothing wrong with zero-ing in on some particulars about your personal-self you would see improved. There’s good reason why fitness clubs see their biggest jump in memberships this time of year.

But isn’t it also true that many of those good intentions and best-laid plans go awry and unfulfilled? More often than not they lose steam and fizzle out?

It is true—but does it have to be?

Back in the mid-90’s I wrote the inspirational song “I Will Be” with my friend +Tanya Leah; released in 1999 by +Lila McCann on Something in the Air (the single, which went to #32 on Billboard’s Hot 100 its first week out was, unfortunately, the same week Asylum Records went out of business, taking the single down with it).

Humira used the song in TV ads in ‘02-’03; +Melinda Doolittle released it in 2009; also +Wynonna Judd released it on What the World Needs Now Is Love in 2003. The song found a huge audience with her fans, though we never got the radio single she and I both wished for. I especially love her ‘live’ USO show version recorded for Season 4 of Army Wives.

That’s just some backstory for you, but my real point here is what that song is saying and why I think it resonates with folks. In fact, more than a decade after Tanya and I wrote it, I found the song speaking to me—about hope, fear, faith, trust—after the Nashville Flood of 2010 hit Jayne and I so hard (btw, that full story of wreckage, recovery, and God’s life-lessons is told in my first book release, When the Rains Fall, due out in early 2014).

The rains fall in every single life: loss of home, job, loved one—calamity, catastrophe, cataclysm.

BEEN CAUGHT IN THE DOWNPOUR OF A RAIN OF STONES

FELT LIKE AN EXILE IN THE WORLD I HAD KNOWN

SO I SOUGHT THE SHELTER OF MY OWN SOUL

AND STAYED INSIDE

It’s only natural for circumstantial evidence to shut a person down and compel them to shut out everybody—including God. But eventually you can find the strength to stand back up from being knocked flat.

THEN WORDS THAT WERE SHARPER THAN THE WINTER WINDS

NO LONGER HAD THE POWER TO PIERCE MY SKIN

THEY MAY NOT STOP, BUT I WON'T TAKE THEM IN

AND I WON'T HIDE

You choose to seek help from above and be an overcomer.

I WILL BE HERE—I WILL BE STRONG

I'LL FACE MY FEARS WHEN THE NIGHT IS LONG

AND STILL GO ON

I WILL BE BRAVE—I WILL BE BOLD

FOLLOW MY FAITH TO A HIGHER ROAD

AND I'M NOT THERE YET

BUT I WILL BE

In The Lord of the Rings Gandalf tells a despairing Pippin at the fall of the city of Minas Tirith, “There is always hope”.

In Mark 5:35 nay-sayers told the ruler who had summoned Jesus, the Miracle Man: “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?” But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.”

Jesus then raised the little girl from the dead.

What I discovered in our flood-saga was that my fears were crippling my faith—were capable of holding back the blessing of God—drowning out all hope. Face down the fear and energize the faith, Bob—only believe. Somehow Jayne and I did and God did the rest. Get the book :)

I love this quote from my friend +Deby Dearman: "When God calls you to do something beyond your confidence level you must choose who will win—fear or faith? Do it afraid!"

***

There’s another factor at work when you study the teachings of Jesus concerning hope: His emphasis is mostly about eternal things (check out the Sermon on the Mount). We modern-day disciples have a tendency to commit the same error as Jesus’ twelve: give me earthly blessings right-here-and-now.

Jesus seems to sum it all up in Matthew 6, saying: “Don’t worry about your life...what your wear...what you eat...about your body...seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you”.

So, yes, Gandalf, there is always hope. But when Jesus Son of God came to earth proclaiming: “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!” He completely defined what hope is: in that which is eternal.

So, how and why does this relate to the practice of making New Years Resolutions? Because any solutions to our lives’ dilemmas and shortcomings are based in hope: in the person of Jesus and His Kingdom. Seek first that Kingdom and all other things will be added on.

Line your personal resolutions up with our Heavenly Father’s goals and aspirations for you; focus on the big stuff and not the small stuff—the eternal instead of the temporal.

I COULD CHOOSE TO KEEP MY FEET UPON THE NARROW PATH

NEVER CROSS THE OPEN FIELD FOR THE ONE SNAKE IN THE GRASS

BUT I'D RATHER RISK MY HEART THAT NEVER GET THE CHANCE

TO FIND MY WAY

Be willing to take some risk—do your part—get up, suit up, show up—then shut up and leave the results up to God.

Now that’s a New Years Resolution I can buy into.

AND I'M NOT THERE YET

BUT I WILL BE

(lyrics from “I Will Be” by Bob Farrell and +Tanya Leah, circa 1994)